09 January, 2014

Thoughts on Thursday

First, take me here now
It's been a tad too cold lately

The other day I woke up at 2:30 wide awake with my mind racing. I don't know if it's the New Year but I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I really need to go back to school but let's be honest I STRONGLY don't want to. I have my Associates in Nursing (ADN) and although on the first day of nursing school our instructor told us we would always have a job, she wasn't exactly telling the truth. Hospitals are leaning towards only hiring nurses with their Bachelor's in Nursing (BSN) because it looks good on paper. That's my opinion because whether you have your ADN or BSN we all get paid the same. We all do the same job. We take the exact same liscensing exam. Overall going back to school is a good thing for anyone, it's never a bad idea to better yourself, but going back to school means more debt. The hospital I work at will help you out some financially but not all and the fact I'll be busting my butt to finish a degree to not make a cent more really unmotivates me. 

Then there's the getting off night shift issue. I love my coworkers on nights and I love working nights except for the fact I work at night. Theo ends up being alone for 3 nights of the week and I feel like I miss out on so much because of working nights. So should I apply for a day job? Well if I get a day job I won't have the time to study if I go back to school as much as I would working nights. Yes I'd see Theo every night but I'd come home exhausted after working 12 hours and probably go to bed an hour after getting home. Also if I go to days I won't have as much time to blog. That may seem to silly to an outsider but I truly love blogging and always try to post daily. 

The third thing that keeps me up at night is having a baby. I already decided I wanted to start trying sometime next year but it's going to be pretty hard to raise a child, work nights, and go back to school. I know plenty of people do it but it isn't easy. I also don't know how I could work nights and take care of a child and still get sleep. Luckily I have my mom here who I know will help out a ton. 

Sorry to bore you all but these are things I just can't seem to get off my mind. I talked to an older coworker about it and she said every year or so she kind of gets in a funk and reevaluates what she's going to do with her life. She recommended starting school now, staying on nights because I'll have more time to get school work done and try to have a baby when I'm ready and if it happens it happens. She said she regrets not going back to school before she had kids. 

I talked it over with Theo and that's my plan. Start school and stay on nights. Worry about kids next year like I planned. I'm beyond dreading going back to school. I HATE school and now that I'm married and have a full time job the last thing I'm going to want to do is study. I know I'll regret it when I'm older if I don't go back now because I know it's only time the ADN nurses will get the ax. Oh, what I would have done differently if I knew all this then!



Do you ever do this? Have a life "check in" I guess you could call it. 



20 comments :

  1. So sorry all these things are on your mind…sometimes it really stinks being an adult!! I think to some degree we all feel "pressures." But you're doing the right thing by talking about it with people that can give you good advice!! In my opinion (and i'm not a nurse) but usually if you're going to go to school to get a better degree it should equate to more money. But if it can get you a better shift and you feel your life would improve your lifestyle in a different way, then perhaps you should think about it…sorry that wasn't helpful at all!

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  2. I went back and got my MBA while working full time. As frustrating as it was, and despite the fact that it wouldn't earn me any incentives at work (title change, raise, etc...), it was worth it. No one can take that piece of paper away from you. However, I have 3 credit hours left and CANNOT make myself register for classes to finish, so I know EXACTLY how you feel.
    I was reminded of the best quote the other today: "God doesn't call he equipped, he equips the called." -- If this is an opportunity for you, then take it! God wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle.
    - Catherine

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  3. Man that stinks! Working and going to school is so hard but you can do it!!! It's a lot harder having a baby, working, and going to school so there's that.... Are you sure you won't be grandfathered in since you already have a job and experience? Is there someone you can speak to in administration about their plans with ADNs? Just a thought.

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  4. I think we all go through something similar at some point, I know I definitely am! I can imagine how discouraging it is to not get a bump in pay when you get your BSN. My SIL is doing the same and she is the busiest person I know but she just knows its only temporary and that helps her push through it. Also, I got my Masters... it sucked having to write papers instead of hanging with the hubs, and I'll be paying on my loans for a while, but I'm glad I did it in the end! Good luck and just follow your gut! :)

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  5. Um I wish that we could all go there!!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  6. Always lots of thinking on those lines no matter what your stage in life, and love the quote...so, so true!! Wishing you all the best in the new year!!

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  7. Aw, sorry you've got all of this on your mind. I think your co-worker told you correctly when she said start school now. How long does it take to get your bachelor's - another 2 years? If so, you'll basically be done with school by the time you have your baby and at least that's one less thing to worry about. Hang in there, you can do it!

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  8. Well good luck! I know that juggling school and work is hard but sounds like you guys have a good plan. xx

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  9. You are not alone dear. I am struggling with life decisions this year as well. Husband finding a new job, selling our home and buying a new one and when to start a family. Nothing makes sense right now and I have no idea when the right time is for any of it. Keep your head up and all you can do is try to make the best decision for right now :)

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  10. I am not a nurse, but totally feel you, chickie. I have my AA which doesn't do much for me at the current moment, and I fight with myself to go back or not right now. We are hoping to start a family in the next year, and both the husband and I work full time, and he is in law school at night, so one of us has to be home! It's tough, but I think everything happens the way it does for a reason. :)

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  11. I'm right there with you re-evaluating what I'm doing it and when. My mind is constantly in the future - how can I have babies in 2 years and start a new job now, and then do I leave my job? What if....how....blah blah blah. It's EXHAUSTING. I wish I had the secret to end this struggle and be content, but I'm just trying to stay in the moment. What is good for you (or me) right now, right this second? Taking it day by day, hour by hour, really seems to help. Good luck sweet girl.

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  12. Smart girl to finish school stuff now. I have to take a huge test and get registered for my job, and after working all day, dealing with our home and pets, and then finding time to study, where's a baby fit into that? It will all fall into place. You guys will have the perfect ending (including bambinos) when it's meant to be. And then we will go shopping for amaze baby stuff. :)

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  13. I completely understand all this lady! I am in the same sort of boat...working full time, but needed to go back to school...but that means marriage/babies on the backburner for me for awhile. It's hard, but I started just this January and just have to grind it out.

    It means a better future and after tons of stressing and thinking over it, I figure, once I have a year or so under my belt of balancing school and work, maybe I'll be comfortable enough to throw the other stuff into the mix!
    That's exiting your are going back to school though! I know it sucks (cuz it really does - esp. when we thought we were done with it haha) but it's all for a good reason and you will kick ass!! xx

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  14. I think more schooling will only help you in the long run. It may not mean a pay increase at your current job but it may lead to one at another hospital. Don't worry about babies until it's time. Worrying is like a rocking chair. Gives you something to do, but ultimately gets you nowhere!

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  15. You are not alone on struggling over big life decisions! I went through this a couple of months ago. I was going back to school for a second Bachelors to become a Registered Dietitian but getting married sort of threw me for a loop. I had always imagined myself working and not staying home but once I got married, that all changed! I really had to re-evaluate what I was doing and where I was going. All I can say is to get opinions from the right people and if you are the praying type, do lots of that! Good luck girl!

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  16. Definitely going through a similar situation right now. I love all aspects of my job, except for working all of the nights and weekends that I do. Don't know how you night nurses do it, especially the ones who have families.

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  17. Ugh, the life of an adult! Just keep looking forward!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
    http://acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

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  18. waking up in the middle of the night is THE WORST! I can totally relate! But you're right, you just have to take it day by day, and for me I am constantly comparing my life to others (like so and so had a baby so I need to...) and you have to remember it's your journey-no one else's! God's plan for you is just that, and what's meant to be will be! so hard to hear, but just have the faith and everything will work out!!!! good luck with the next big step :)

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  19. This happens to me frequently - I always find it helps to write down the parts of my life that I'm content with - even in the middle of the night - it helps me from feeling like I'm spinning out of control in life. I'm sure you'll juggle everything amazingly!

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  20. That quote is all too true! Beautiful blog!

    Lauren,
    http://www.atouchofsoutherngrace.com/

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